Faith - is a tricky business...
• The answer is there is no answer...
• All we have ever learned is probably wrong...
• We are a chemical and geological accident...
• We are electrical beings and energy never dies only changes form...
• We were dropped off here by aliens as a scientific experiment....
• We are created by God for his pleasure and so full of darkness that Jesus had to come to Earth and be hung on a cross to die in atonement.
I believe in Jesus because all the other religions I have ever looked into none of them ever gave me personal peace and salvation from myself as He does. There are so many things about the bible and Jesus that confuse me and contradict my intellect that I must set it aside as a matter of faith. I don't like the fact that the bible says the earth is thousands of years old when I see geological evidence that dinosaurs walked the earth millions of years ago and with tremendous evidence of many mass extinctions.
There are other things - in the Old Testament God was so harsh with his people - asking Abraham to sacrifice his own son... And if God did make us why are we such a mess. Why the wicked human nature and punishment for Adam and Eve's poor choices. Yes it is a struggle this faith of mine but made easy when I find peace in his Word and in prayer and in the many personal miracles I have experienced.
One time when I was a young girl I was 21; [35 years ago] I was living on my own behind a mortgage company next to a termite office - on a very busy avenue. I paid $135 a month. One day I was walking to my girlfriend’s apartment just a few blocks away and I saw this "little green house". It was lovely and had a fenced yard on a cul-de-sac. I pointed to the house and said "God, why can't I have a "little green house" just like that one and went on my way.
About three months later, I was sitting on my back step with my little dog Whiskey when this female dog and her 6 pups come up to me from the alley. I was very concerned because if they went any further they would be out on the main avenue and in harms way. I gathered them all up and herded them back the way they came - down an alley I was unfamiliar with. I came out on this street and started going door to door asking who the dogs might belong to. I came to a home and peeked in the door and a young woman was packing. She told me the dogs belonged next door. I asked her if she was moving and she said yes. I asked her how much rent she paid. She said 125 per month. I took the puppies next door and went right home and called her landlord. I got it! It was the same exact "little green house" for $10 less a month than I was paying. It had a fenced yard for my dog and a washer too! It may sound like a small miracle but it was huge to me at the time. God had given me the same "little green house" I had made a flippant prayer for several months before, for less money than I was paying. WOW...
There is also the miracle of my husband Tim finding me in hell and coming to rescue me. For years I was depressed and prayed to God to forgive me for my lack of faith daily. "Forgive me for my lack of Faith" I would pray. One night I was lying in bed and instead of saying "forgive me for my lack of faith" I prayed "Lord please fill me with your Holy Spirit" and swoosh, all of a sudden I was enveloped in this golden light and incredible sensation of peace and warmth. It was so powerful I got out of bed and walked into the living room and basked in it for hours. Do I believe in God, yes most certainly I do - he had intervened in my life enough times for me to know in my heart of hearts he is real. Do I understand it - not a bit? Do I have the answers to my questions - not at all...? But I know that one day I will - one day when I am face to face with Jesus accounting for my life, I will have my answers then. What is the phrase ... the devil is in the details...
posted by francesmarion | 7:47 AM
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